a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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