i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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