I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
