and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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