Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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