I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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