mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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