ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
