I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
