The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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