How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
