Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
