wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
