You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
