Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
