Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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