How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
