U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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