Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
