Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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