I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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