i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
