All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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