That's intense
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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