I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
