There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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