two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
