My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just cropdusted the office
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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