I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
