Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
