Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
