people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
