Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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