Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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