I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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