it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We need to rekindle our bromance
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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