So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
