I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
