After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
