i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
