so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
