Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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