My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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