I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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