Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
