Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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