she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
