did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
50% drunk capacity currently
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
