Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
