Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
