Your tits are I can't wait for
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
