I wanna bring you to show and tell
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
